So, lately I’ve really been pushing myself to make a strong, positive impression with the higher-ups at my job. I want a promotion and that means I have to show that I’m willing and able to take on more responsibilities. So I have been.

But at what cost?

Well, at the cost of my peace of mind. I’m close to having a nervous breakdown from the steady, non-stop stress I’ve been under. I’ve proved myself, and the resulting stress is worth it, but I need a break.

I was going to home for the first time in over two years, but that plan fell through. I just got an apartment on my own and it cleaned out more of my savings than I thought it would. When I realized I wouldn’t be able to leave and relax, my anxiety sky-rocketed. I ended up begging Renard to help come up with a little getaway for us to go on during my weekend.

Renard pulled through. We’re going camping for a few days. It’s going to just me him and I and nature. It will be relaxing and hopefully enough of a retreat to mellow out my nerves. I just want the anxiety to tone down a few notches so I can go back to enjoying things.

Things like dating. Yes, I’ve been dating. But I’m exhausted, mentally and emotionally, to the point where getting up early to go on a date just sounds awful. And I’m having a harder time than usual enjoying myself on the dates. I need a break, but I’ve been pushing myself even in this. I want to be above my stress. I want to push through it. But I’m just adding more.

I have to stop. I have to take a breather. Hopefully, the person I’ve been on a couple of dates with will understand.

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